- First Name
- Lokki
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2019
- Threads
- 7
- Messages
- 169
- Reaction score
- 172
- Location
- Phoenix, Arizona
- Car(s)
- 2020 Toyota Supra GR Premium - 2018 Lexus LC500 Performance Package
- Vehicle Showcase
- 2
- Banned
- #1,441
I need to write a book seriously. I was strung out on cocaine at the age of 17 and was using intravenously at that time in the mid 80's. Lots of Marijuana and the occasional hallucinogens with alcohol being a normal part of my daily routine (mostly beer). I never used Methamphetamine nor did I ever touch Heroin thankfully. I watched friends go from happy healthy lives to being in the worst forms of purgatory any human can imagine, all because they simply wanted to let loose and party a little on the weekends. Those little benders we did as kids eventually become almost ritualistic later in our adult lives. Some moved away from it while a few like myself continued the insanity. It was the 80's and that's what us kids did back then partied like rock stars.Congrats on your sobriety. If you don't mind me asking, what were your struggles and addition? I have a close friend that went downhill fast from meth back in the late 90's. He's normal now but man those were some dark times.
I had been homeless on a few occasions during those dark times, I was in and out of county jails for frivolous and petty crimes while wandering around chasing my ambitions of playing music in a successful band not realizing I had a real problem with alcohol. I was able to successfully kick all drugs by the time I was 25 however, the alcohol was a motherfucker. I wasn't a raging alcoholic, but I was a binge drinker. I would stop intermittently and then out of nowhere go on an all night bender with friends, and sometimes that bender would last a few days or a week and then I would stop for a few weeks or even a month before starting back. I tried to regulate my patterns to ensure myself I wasn't an addict and I could just quit anytime I wanted.
It was in my late 30's though when I had been drinking pretty heavy that weekend and woke up not feeling quite right. My heart was skipping beats and I felt like I was going to die. I shrugged it off as just part of being hungover and went to work like I always did. Few days had passed and I went to the ER as I wasn't recovering from the feeling I had. Found out after a quick EKG that I had a blocked sinus node on my heart. It wasn't clear how the blockage occurred but it was stated to me by the doctor that some live long healthy lives, while some have sudden strokes and heart attacks as a result from these types of blockage. That alone triggered alarm bells deep in my mind and scared the living shit out of me. My grandfather died from alcoholism at the age of 56 and I thought if I didn't put the drinking behind me right then and there I would end up like him and maybe before I hit 56 at the rate I was going.
I had been to all sorts of AA, CA and NA groups/meetings years prior but they never did anything but introduce me to other addicts who were just as fucked as I was, and whom some later relapsed and fell further into their addictions. I quit alcohol on October 24, 2009 and haven't had a drop since then. I don't attend meetings or groups and I'm never tempted to drink or get high. The thought of reliving those dark, miserable days at my age now is something I cannot fathom. I won't ever relapse because knowing I have a minor heart problem is more than enough to scare me into remaining sober. More importantly, I have my life back and feel amazing. I have helped many kids and adults who have struggled with these types of addictions acting as mentors to some and showing them that they have hope and that by becoming sober they can become the best they can.
It's really disheartening that someone here would carelessly and recklessly use content of someone's IG account for the purposes of defamation and ridicule someone's sobriety publicly like it's some fucking joke.
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